


All Our Own

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Castiel Confesses Feelings for Dean Winchester, Castiel Deserves to be Loved (Supernatural), Castiel Does Not Understand Boundaries (Supernatural), Castiel Fixes Things (Supernatural), Castiel Has Feelings for Dean Winchester, Castiel Has Secrets (Supernatural), Castiel Leaves (Supernatural), Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Plants (Supernatural), Castiel Makes Mistakes (Supernatural), Castiel Makes a Deal with The Shadow (Supernatural), Castiel Makes the First Move (Supernatural), Castiel Misses Dean Winchester, Castiel Stays (Supernatural: I'm No Angel), Castiel Wants Dean Winchester to be Happy, Castiel Watches Dean Winchester Sleep, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel/Dean Winchester Dancing, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dancing, Dean Winchester Can't Say "I Love You", Dean Winchester Can't Say No to Castiel, Dean Winchester Comforts Castiel, Dean Winchester Confesses Feelings for Castiel, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Dean Winchester Does Not Deal With Things, Dean Winchester Has Anger Issues, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Dean Winchester Misses Castiel, Dean Winchester Realizes Feelings For Castiel, Dean Winchester Saves The Day, Dean Winchester Searches For Castiel, Dean Winchester Teases Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester Thinks Castiel is Dead, Dean Winchester Tries, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean/Castiel Ever After Challenge (Supernatural), Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Episode: s15e09 The Trap - Dean Winchester's Prayer Scene, Episode: s15e12 Galaxy Brain, Episode: s15e13 Destiny's Child, Episode: s15e20 (Supernatural), Feels, First Kiss, Fisher Castiel (Supernatural), Fishing, Fluff, Happy Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Castiel/Dean Winchester, Happy Ending, How Supernatural (TV) Could End, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, Jack Kline Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Sam Winchester, Occultum, Protective Jack Kline, Purgatory, Quote: "Bitch." "Jerk." (Supernatural), Quote: Angels are watching over you. (Supernatural), Quote: Family Don't End With Blood (Supernatural), Quote: He's in love with humanity (Supernatural), Quote: I learned that from the pizza man. (Supernatural), Quote: I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. (Supernatural), Sam Winchester is So Done, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Slow Dancing, Song: All Our Own, The Garden of Eden, The Occultum, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 10:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: “You told me in tongues.” Dean snaps “Can you try it again in English?”At his side, Cass bristles. “My deal is when I’m happy he will take me.”“Dean.” He begins. “The things that can make me happy are numbered. When the Shadow peered inside my mind, it saw everything.  My feelings of inadequacy and uselessness, my greatest fears, my enemies… the people I love.”“I’m not saying you made the wrong call Cass.” He says gently. “Just - why didn’t you tell us?”“What would that have done?”“Something.” Dean insists. “We'd have gone face to face with that monster!”“There it is.” Cass says softly. “What good would that have done? The thing that could make me happy… facing off against the being who wishes to take it all away?”That gives Dean pause. “Me and Sam… we make you happy?”“Yes.” Cass says carefully. “Being with you and Sam brings me great joy.”“Dean.” Cass says sternly, catching his attention. “Once I thought that you knew. You are a connoisseur in matters such as this. Now, that we're in a place that is all our own, I think you’re ready to hear this.”Dean’s been ready for the past hour, but okay.“You make me unbelievably happy Dean.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 61
Kudos: 239





	1. Jack’s Whacked Out Version of Hide and Seek

“I’m sorry.” Jack says ducking his head.

Dean doesn’t have the fortitude to contain his anger this time.

“Where is Cass?” he demands.

First, Jack ‘almost’ kills Cass, for a series of ‘hopefullys’.

Now, he claps his hands and Cass goes poof

Sure, it had got them to where they wanted to be. But for Jack to just risk Cass’ life like that. The kid should know better. Especially now that he has his soul back.

“He’s safe.” Jack assures, laying his hands out before him in a calming gesture.

It does anything _but_ calm Dean.

“Bring him back!” Dean barks. “Right now!”

“No.” Jack says simply, his expression becoming more and more skittish.

“And why’s that?” Dean demands.

Why can’t anything be simple?

They just got the biggest win since free porn and now, _this_ happens. Defeating Chuck had been successful. They made it thought the plan with a lot less hiccups than usual. Now, when they should be celebrating, Jack is playing hide and seek with angels of the Lord.

“Jack.” He says carefully. “Just because you’re the new ruler doesn’t mean you can just so what you want. Are – are you playing some whacked out version of hide and seek?”

“No.” Jack says, looking extremely offended at the implication. “I’m not playing hide and seek Dean. This is serious.”

“Okay.” Sam says, coming between them, the voice of reason as always. “We’re just trying to understand Jack. We’re not against you.”

That seems to make Jack more amiable. “There’s something that you both don’t know.”

Shocker.

“Maybe if you explain it to us, it will make things clearer.”

“I can’t.” Jack says, seeming saddened by this. “I promised Cass I wouldn’t.”

“Well.” Dean throws his hands up. “Cass ain’t here right now to stop you.”

Jack seems to consider this. “You have to promise that you won’t be mad at him.”

“Okay.” Sam agrees instantly.

Dean scoffs. “Sure.”

Jack cocks his head. “Dean. You have to promise.”

He shakes his head wryly. “Okay. Yeah. I promise.”

“Cass made a deal with the Empty.” Jack states.

The room feels like all the air’s been sucked out.

“What?”

“When he’s happy, it will come for him.” Jack explains. “With you two… after such a big victory.” Jack swallows, looking away. “I know you are mad, especially you Dean. But I had to protect him.”

All the anger leeches from his skin at Jack’s innocent plea. Cass _had_ been happy. He’d been downright giddy. Pouring drinks like a maniac and laughing freely. It’s the happiest Dean had seen Cass in a long time. His jokes were nonsensical and his hand was almost constantly glued to Dean’s shoulder.

In fact, just before Jack had hidden him, he was about to say something to him and by the looks of it, it was something serious. Maybe it _was_ something that might have caused happiness. Maybe Jack had saved him with his foresight and quick thinking.

Because, if Dean ended up being the one to trap him in an eternal sleep, he doesn’t think he’d ever forgive himself.

“Where is he now?” Dean croaks.

“He’s in a safe place.” Jack parrots. “The safest place of all.”

“The occultum.” Sam breathes in realisation.

“But… can’t the Shadow still nab him in there?” Dean questions, not liking the thought of leaving Cass at the mercy of such a cold being.

“No.” Jack says crisply. “That’s impossible. I’m in control now. Which means that the Garden of Eden is under my domain. I’m the only one who can say who comes and who goes. Though… being in the Garden alone. It’s a trying experience.”

Memories of Jack’s distress after his first visit flood his mind.

“The – the creatures there. They’re keeping their distance.” Jack murmurs, closing his eyes in concentration. “They can sense that he’s under my protection. But Cass… he’s uneasy. Afraid. He doesn’t know that I’m the one who sent him there.”

“Then go.” Dean says. “Tell him that you aired his dirty laundry and that we didn’t explode. Let him know that you’ll keep him safe in there until we can find a way to weasel him out of his deal.”

Jack’s expression becomes pinched. “I can’t leave this plane. It would create… a severe disturbance.”

Dean scoffs. “Well. Ixnay on the disturbances.”

“Beam me up Scotty.” Dean announces.

If anyone should be the one to keep Cass calm in the face of his utter isolation slash annihilation, it’s Dean Winchester.

‘Angel feelings’ extraordinaire. 

“You’re sure it should be you?” Sam asks, mirroring his doubts. “We need to keep him calm in there. Not get him riled up.”

“It needs to be Dean.” Jack announces, ignoring Sam’s offended glare. “He’s the only one who Cass will listen to. I think… he wanted to talk to you before I sent him away.”

Ah, so he was right. Cass had wanted to talk to him.

“How long are you sending me in for?” he asks.

“I can send you in for a few minutes, or your entire life.” Jack offers, seeming willing to do either.

“I don’t want to spend my entire life there.” He objects.

“How about… three to four months.”

“Is Cass lost up there or something.”

“No.” Jack says. He licks at his lips as he tries to figure out how to continue. “I just think it’s best to keep you both to the side for now.”

Dean narrows his eyes, sensing that Jack is leaving out some vital information.

“It… isn’t my place to say. It’s bad enough that I told you about the deal. I broke my promise to Cass.” Jack sounds unusually timid. “What if I send you in… and after you talk to Cass and get everything straightened out, then pray to me. If you want to come back, I’ll do it immediately, but if you feel like you need to stay, then I’ll let you two be.”

Dean nods. “I can live with that. Anything I should know before I go charging in there?”

“Woah.” Sam says, a deep frown now on his face. “You’re just leaving Dean?”

“You heard him… Cass is lost and confused. Once I tell him what’s up, I’ll be right back here, terrorising the hell out of you.”

Sam doesn’t seem comforted by this. “This is serious. When you go in there, there’s no way back without Jack. What if something happens. That means all three of you would be lost.”

“Nothing’s going to happen.” Jack assures.

“You don’t know that.” Sam returns. “And we need Dean. We’ll be short handed otherwise.”

“But what if Cass needs Dean too?” Jack says, his question causing a ripple between the brothers.


	2. The Garden of Eden and it’s Baffling Effect on the Likes of Dean Winchester

“Cass is an angel. I know him. He won’t want Dean to risk being trapped with him – in the place where humans were cast out of, I might add – for eternity. He can rough it for a few days.”

“It isn’t about that Sam. It’s true that humans weren’t allowed, but now that I’m in charge, I make the rules.” Jack says, his expression guarded. “And as for staying until we sort this out, Castiel will have to explain it to Dean. And when Dean is gone and I explain it to you… I think you will understand.”

Dean claps Sam on the back, hoping to ease his worries a little. As much as he wants to stay with Cass, he knows he won’t leave Sam alone to go up against an entity as powerful as the Shadow.

“Just a quick in and out, Sammy.” He assures. “I’ll give Cass the run down, let him know that he won’t be alone long and hightail it right back here.”

“Don’t forget to talk to him.” Jack inserts, seeming genuinely concerned. “You have to talk to him Dean.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Dean promises.

“Only then, you’ll see the benefits of staying.”

He glances over to Sam once more. “You’d be okay with that?” he asks. “If I really had to stay there for some reason.”

Sam purses his lips. “No. But if you think it’s a good enough reason, then I’ll back you.”

He smiles.

“We should have used rock paper scissors to decide who gets to go to the Garden of Eden.”

“Well, too late!” Dean chirps. “You snooze you lose Sam.”

“Just don’t follow the yellow brick road.” Sam says, “Or go off the trail.”

“Don’t get eaten by a whale, or grow another beard while I’m gone.” Dean teases, smacking Sam on the cheek.

Dean gets his keys out. “You know the drill.”

Sam nods seriously.

“Take care of each other.” He tells them.

Jack nods. “We’ll be fine, Dean, don’t worry.” Jack has that glint in his eye again, it’s mysterious, sneaky, almost gleeful if he analyses it closely. “Remember, talk to Cass. Even if he’s dodgy. Tell him what I told you, maybe he’ll understand why I want you two to stay. And when you’re ready… just pray to me.”

…

Dean feels his insides churn as Jack zaps him to Eden.

He finds a landmark almost immediately. The infamous apple tree. For just a second, he considers having a little bite. Now that Jack’s on top, he shouldn’t mind if Dean gets a taste of knowledge.

That thought flees from his mind as he hears a hissing sound. It may just be his imagination playing tricks on him, but in a strange new place, with no way to tell when backup will arrive, Dean doesn’t want to chance it.

Plus, he’s supposed to be here looking for Cass anyway. He doesn’t want to miss what he expects to be a scintillating explanation from Cass about why he made a stupid deal in the first place and didn’t bother to tell anyone but his soulless son, just because he was eaten by a snake.

It’d be pretty embarrassing for Cass to have to save his ass while being digested by a snake. Cass would never let him forget it.

“So,” he looks around. “No yellow brick road.”

What would he do if he were Cass?

Well, Jack chucked him into this place without a word of warning. He’d probably be on edge and immediately start searching for a way out.

A way out.

Cass would have figured out that this is the garden. Maybe there’s a gate or something?

Dean looks at the bushes around him. There isn’t any clear path, and Cass had evidently been careful enough not to leave a visible trail. That’s assuming that Jack sent them to the exact same location.

How big is this place anyway.

It kind of reminds him of an unpopulated, luscious version of Purgatory.

The area is nice to look at, especially since he doesn’t sense any monster tailing him.

Dean sighs as his foot hooks in a vine.

Maybe he should look for a stream. Cass seems to have some kind of magnetism to waterways.

Dean makes his way through paradise with feet of lead.

He does want to find Cass and make sure he’s okay. But, on the flip side, he also wants to wring his neck and throw him up against a tree – and not in a sexy way.

Anger.

Dean’s anger is something that even scares himself at times. Sam’s learned, over the years, to anticipate the signs, to avoid him when necessary. What to say, what not to say. Cass is different though, Dean has no doubt that Cass knows what to do, only… he never seems to do it. Whether Dean is steaming mad or just a little annoyed, Cass always wants to know if he’s okay. It doesn’t matter if Dean screams at him or throws a tantrum, he usually takes it in stride and tells Dean to have a good night.

When the anger fades, Dean always recognises it as Cass’ way of letting him know that he isn’t alone. That if he needs to talk, there’s always a shoulder there.

Sure, Dean’s anger is just below the surface now, but when he sees Cass… he doesn’t know what he’ll do.

To keep a secret of that magnitude for so long. And Cass hadn’t even taken the care to avoid being happy. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he was so caught up in their hard earned victory that he was swept away in the after-party. Dean doesn’t begrudge him of that. Cass had been instrumental in their win in many ways.

What Dean’s come to realise recently, is that his anger really isn’t anger. It’s concern, expressed by a man who doesn’t truly understand affection.

Maybe Sam _should_ have come.

Cass might have wanted a calmer head. He doesn’t need Dean breathing down his neck about something he should have told them.

Damn it.

He just needs to muddle through and find Cass… and hope that his temper doesn’t get the better of him once again.

A trench-coated angel shouldn’t be too hard to find in the land of milk and honey, right?


	3. I Could Go With You

Eventually Dean finds a little streamlet. The fish don’t seem to mind his presence as he walks along the bank. Some even follow him for a few meters before heading back to their homes. The quiet here is… nice. Dean hadn’t thought he would like it. He thought it would feel lonely. How could he feel lonely though, when thousands of creatures are singing and chirping right next to him.

For the first time in a long time, he doesn’t feel on edge. Maybe it’s because he knows this is the safest place to be, or that there’s nothing here that would hurt him… except maybe that snake from the apple tree.

Dean is distracted by a snail that crawls directly into his path. He almost squashes the poor thing. Imagine staying alive in paradise for donkey years and being squashed by some lumbering human.

Maybe he should lose the shoes.

Dean shucks his shoes and socks and ties them securely through one of the loops in his jeans. The ground feels nice beneath his feet. Not wet and mushy, but not arid and dusty either. It doesn’t matter if his feet are dirty, because there’s no furniture here to stain, no floors that would need to mop.

The temperature is just cool enough that he could probably manage without his clothes too. Though, Dean isn’t ready for that yet. He’d rather not face Cass with his junk waving around.

That’s when Dean spots him.

The only splash of beige in the entire forest.

His back is against a tree with his knees drawn up so that his head could fit in between.

“Cass!” Dean calls, scaring a pair of birds nesting nearby.

Cass’ head snaps up and he remains frozen in disbelief as Dean sprints over.

“Dean.” Cass says in wonder, standing to look him up and down. “What are you doing here?” he demands. “Where are your shoes?”

Dean taps his side, where the shoes hang. “I’m going native.” He mutters. “Anyway. This is the Garden of Eden.”

“I know.” Cass says. “No one has set foot here since the beginning. I don’t know why it took me... or you for that matter.”

Ah. In his joy Dean had forgotten his real reason for taking the trip here. “Jack sent you here.” He says, watching the confusion play across Cass’ face. “To protect you from the Empty.”

Cass’ expression sinks into despair. “I…”

“Forgot?” Dean supplies, stunned that he isn’t exploding. For some reason he can’t seem to care that Cass had kept it a secret. He still wants to know why, but the most important thing is that he can be safe in here. “Jack filled in most of the details after some pressure from me and Sam.”

“I’m sorry.” Cass says. “I’ve ruined your celebrations.”

“Well… kind of.” Dean says, smiling slightly. “What would have ruined it even more was having you disappear inexplicably and never come back.”

“Dean.” Cass says, swallowing and looking away.

“Hey. It’s okay now.” He comforts, laying a hand on Cass’ shoulder. “But you gotta talk to me man, let me know why you didn’t tell us… what this deal really means for you.”

Cass meets his eyes then, peering at him in surprise. Dean, too, is surprised by his lack of blinding rage. But Cass decides to make the most of it.

He yanks Dean forward and wraps his arms around him in a crushing hug. “Why did Jack send you here?” he asks warily.

“Well, we didn’t want to just leave you here without knowing what’s going on.” Dean explains. “Plus, he said that there was a reason I should stay here too… that it’d be better if I heard it from you.”

Cass smiles wryly. “He’s correct about that.” Cass takes a deep breath. “You know my deal hinges on my happiness.”

Dean nods.

“Do you also know what would make me the happiest?”

“Winning.” Dean says, remembering how giddy Cass was. “Peace. No more hunting.”

“Those things do make me happy.” Cass says, “But think harder.”

Dean shakes his head, staring at Cass intently, trying to gauge what answer he wants here. “I don’t know man, you – you were going to tell me something.”

Cass grins at him, then asks teasingly, “You need a hint?”

Throwing his head back, Dean waves his hand for Cass to carry on.

“I was going to ask you about your plans, now that the world is in good hands.” Cass says. “I was going to ask if you planned to stay in the bunker or try to make a new life.”

“I – I dunno Cass.” Dean admits, feeling flustered. “I haven’t given it a whole lot of thought.”

‘I didn’t know if I would make it’ are the words he doesn’t say.

Cass nods in understanding.

“Why would you want to know all of that anyway?”

“I was leading up to a question.” Cass whispers. “Do you want me to come with you?”

A frown makes it’s way onto Dean’s face. “ _Of course_ I would have wanted you to come with. I thought we established it Cass: we’re just better together.”

Cass perks up at that. “Then I was going to ask if we could go fishing.”

Dean chuckles. “Well, if I decide to stay, then yeah, I say we go fishing. Native style.”

“If you decide to stay?” Cass repeats, his expression faltering.

“I promised Sam that I wouldn’t stay unless you really needed me. That I would pray to Jack as soon as I decided you were okay and have him bring me back. Then, once your deal is nullified, then we bring you back too.” Dean admits, hating the crushed look that takes residence on Cass’ face.

“I understand Dean.” Cass assures. “Sam is your brother. You need to protect him. Pray to Jack, let him know you’re ready.”

“Are you okay though?” Dean asks. Wanting to prolong this a bit. After mentioning Jack, it’s occurred to him that Cass hasn’t told him the real reason why Dean should stay here.


	4. Spill Your Guts… or Those of a Worm

Cass’ ‘yes’ isn’t anywhere near convincing.

“Come on man.” He nudges Cass’ shoulder to prompt a reaction.

“It’s okay Dean.” He says glumly.

No way can he just leave him now.

Dean doesn’t know why but this reminds him of that time he was forced to tell Cass to leave so that Gadreel could stay and heal Sam. He felt like he had no choice then, but things seem different this time around. Sam had even given him some leeway, and right now, Dean _really_ thinks he needs to stay longer.

Maybe he and Cass can spend some quality time together, so that when he does leave, Cass will have something to tide him over. Yeah, that sounds pretty good, and it will also give him enough time to squeeze an answer out of Cass.

An idea crashes into Dean with such force that it almost knocks him to his knees. It’s another memory – this time not as old – but something Dean had always longed to do. Maybe not with Cass, but maybe it’ll be fun for him too.

But Dean knows when he’s lying to himself. At the start, it had just been a type of closeness that had appealed to him. But more recently, he finds himself filling the space across from him with Cass.

“Hey Cass, do you want to –”

Dean catches himself just in the nick time. What on earth is he doing. He’s never known himself to be so loose lipped.

“Yes, Dean?” Cass says eagerly.

Shaking his head, to clear it of the nonsense, Dean tries to get his mind back in order. Maybe he can find a way to make their time together last longer and find a way to draw a real reason why he should stay out of Cass. Dean hadn’t missed the way the angel just skipped over his question and proceeded to make an award worthy diversion. Cass almost caught him too; hook, line and sinker.

Hmm.

That gives him an idea.

“Why don’t we hang out a bit. We can fish.” He says excitedly.

Cass seems to eat that idea up. “I saw some worms that we can use as bait.”

Dean scrunches up his nose, of course Cass was keeping an eye out for the worms. “Yeah. You get the worms. I’ll stick to making fishing rods.”

Cass narrows his eyes. “You don’t like worms?” Cass asks in disbelief.

Dean shrugs. “I like them dead and hanging on the end of my rod.” He says.

“Well, that’s not very nice.” Cass waits a beat before adding. “Did you know I’ve tried fishing before?” Dean doesn’t have a chance to answer before Cass continues. “It was not very enjoyable to me. Though, I supposed it lacked one important factor.”

“Aww Cass.” Dean moans, pressing a hand to his head. “Please don’t tell me you forgot to tighten your line. Rookie mistake man, especially if you were at a pond, rather than a river like this.”

Giving him a dry stare, Cass turns away. “I know how to handle my rod.” He says indignantly.

Holding up his hands, Dean nods along. “No worries then.”

Cass nods once, then turns away, to find his patch of creepy crawlies.

As Cass walks away though, Dean finds himself wondering: what was that one important thing that Cass was missing?

…

Fishing with Cass is nice. Cass is freer now that they’re alone and unburdened. His eyes sparkle in the sunlight and even the fish seem to crawl closer and closer.

With their make-shift fishing rods, they don’t get much biters, and Cass ends up using a few of the worms to make a – ugh – ‘wormstache.’

Safe to say, Dean’s appetite vanished.

He wants to ask Cass about his deal . Why he hid it from them and why Jack is so insistent that he stays. But the thing is… from the looks of it, Dean is going to leave soon. He wants Cass to at least have a chance to hang around before.

Cass sits by his side, a perfect for, his rod set up right and his hands completely still.

“You know, you’re kinda good at this.”

Cass beams at the compliment. “Thank you Dean, I had some practice and was advised by a very seasoned fisherman.”

Dean feels his eyes narrow at that. “When was this?” He can’t help but ask. Cass talked about it earlier, in the regard that it was something he’d done passively. Now he’s been advised by a fisherman? By someone who isn’t Dean.

That hurts. There were so many of Cass’ firsts he’d wanted to be present for. To teach him and show him how fun living could be – despite the bad stuff. Yet, he managed to miss it all. Cass first treck as a human and all the little things that came with it: shaving, bathing, the most comfortable positions to sleep in and even how to have sex.

“It was after our fight.” Cass murmurs with a slight shrug. Like he’d completely forgotten about it… which Dean knows that he hasn’t. “When I wanted to spend some time alone to figure out what my role could be. Honestly… I missed you. So to fill the gap, I tried something that you always seemed to enjoy to take my mind off of you.”

“I’m sorry man. That I put you through-”

Holding up a hand for him to stop talking, Cass shakes his head. “There’s no need Dean. You’ve already apologised.”

Swallowing, Dean looks away. Sure, he’d apologised, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling like shit.

“I find that fishing is more enjoyable with a partner.” Cass chirps, bring him back to the here and now.

Ah, and there it is. Cass just revealed the thing he was missing. That oh so important thing that stopped him from liking fishing the first time around. And Dean would have never guessed what it was: him

Yeah, Dean thinks to himself, most things in life are so much better with a partner.


	5. Bare Your Feet to Me, And Maybe Your Heart Too

By what Dean assumes is late evening, Dean feels his stomach rumble loudly.

Cass’ head snaps to him instantly and a small little frown appears on his face. “You’re hungry.”

“Yeah.”

A worm appears just in front of his mouth. He jumps back, falling flat on his back and staring up in shock at Cass.

“Cass. Buddy.” He chastises. “Are you trying to scare my hunger away.”

“No. Of course not.” Cass says with a frown. “I was bring you dinner.”

Dean does a double take. “That worm?” He shudders in disgust as it wriggles around in Cass’ hand.

“It’s good protein Dean. Just one or two handfuls and you should have enough energy to carry on.”

“Don’t bring that thing near me.” He warns, as Cass starts inching closer.

“Sam says you ate a lizard in the bad place.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we ate a lizard.” He says defensively. “But I am _not_ eating a worm.”

“I’m sure we can find a fruit then.” Cass says with a not too subtle roll of his eyes.

“Great! And you can eat the worms.”

“I don’t eat.” Cass retorts.

“Sure you do.” Dean throws back. “You just don’t need to.”

Countless times, over the years, he’s seen Cass eat. If only to just save a seat at a diner or to share a beer or whiskey with him and Sam. Sweets, he ate juts to change the colour of his tongue.

When they stand, Cass seems a bit uneasy. “Dean.” He says. “If you did want to leave. Now would be the ideal time. You could go back home and get all the food you want. Your… bacon and pie. There’s nothing like that here.”

“I think I’ll stay around for a bit.” Dean says, eyeing Cass to determine his reaction. “How about, I stay for a couple days and head back. If you need me after that, just pray to Jack and he’ll zap me back here.”

“That makes no sense at all.” Cass responds drily.

Dean shuts his eyes. “Jack. Hey there. Hope everything is good. I think I should stay for a week then I’ll let you know what I decide. Let Sam know that I’m good, just kinda hungry. And, if you guys need me, just zap me back, okay?”

Re-opening his eyes, he finds Cass gaping at him.

“We have a week together.” He says slowly.

Dean nods. “A week for you to figure out how to tell me.”

Cass winces at that.

“Hey. Don’t worry man.” He assures. “A lot can happen in a week.”

…

It seems that night never falls upon this place. Though the light is now dimmer, there’s never total darkness. Which, is pretty sweet, given that the trees provide shade and even in the open areas, the sun doesn’t burn their skin, nor is it too warm.

Dean found a pretty filling papaya about a mile back. Peeling it was a bitch but man was that thing sweet and juicy. He even convinced Cass to have a few bites. Of course, now his shirt is covered in orange stains, but Dean considers that a win.

They decided to venture a bit. Scope out the area. Find out where Eden ends.

The more he wanders around, the more Dean is convinced that this place really is paradise.

The ground is always soft whether it’s grass or just soil. All the tree roots and rocks seem to just stay out of their way. Dean tossed his shoes about twenty minutes ago and is currently convincing Cass to join him in his barefooted glory.

As they go deeper, the animals seem to become more and more amiable. Rabbits scurry around their feet, their fluffiness brushing against Dean’s toes, before they jump into the bushes once more. There are no flies or mosquitoes to speak of, though he did spot one or two huge spiders up in the treetops.

“Come on Cass.” He prods, using his bare feet to try to nudge off Cass shoes. “It’s like you said dude. There’s no one here but us.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to take off my shoes.” Cass snips, shooting him a glare.

“Yes it does.” Dean lays a hand on Cass’ shoulder, forcing him to stop. Cass’ expression speaks only of his annoyance. “Cass just think about it. We’re alone. We can do anything we want. We can walk around buck naked if we really wanted to.”

Cass screws his face up in distaste at that.

“Not that we have to. I’m just sayin’ let loose man.” He reaches forward to shake Cass’ shoulders. “Let’s get in touch with your wild side!”

After a look, relentless staring contest, Cass finally looks away, shaking his head. “This is pointless.”

“Well, yeah.” Dean admits. “But it’s fun.”

“I fail to see the ‘fun.’”

Dean pinches his cheek, using two fingers to tilt his lips into a smile. “There. Much better.”

When Dean takes his hands away, the smile remains on Cass’ face but his eyes shine with confusion.

“Let me show you.” Dean offers.

Bracing himself against a tree, Cass removes his shoes, the small smile never leaving his face.

“If this isn’t fun, I will blame you.” Cass warns.

“Way to put the pressure on.” Dean mutters.

When both feet are bare and on the ground Dean jumps in then, showing Cass how to wiggle his toes in the dirt.

“It’s nice.” Cass relents, after a few minutes.

Dean grins mischievously, his foot shooting out to stomp semi-gently on Cass’ foot.

“Tag!” he yells. “You’re it.”

A look of indignation crosses Cass’ face. “I’m ‘it’?”

“Yeah.” Dean explains. “We’re playing mashed potato and I stomped on your foot so that means you are it. If you catch me and mash my foot, then I’m it again.”

Cass eyes light up. “I understand the rules.” He says. “I just don’t understand why you refer to our feet as potatoes. Look at my foot.” Cass lifts his leg. “This looks nothing like any potato I’ve ever seen.”

Dean steps closer. “Man, you have huge feet.”

Cass slams his foot onto Dean’s and darts away. “All the better to stomp you with.”


	6. Forbidden Fruit

There seems to be no end in sight. They passed many hills and jungles and nothing.

Cass had spotted this oasis, outfitted with palm trees and sand and everything yesterday. They made camp there, set up a little hammock and hunkered down.

“Cass I think it’s about time you fan me with a palm leaf.” Dean says, pressing a hand over his forehead. In actuality, he isn’t hot in the slightest.

When Cass doesn’t respond for the next minute, Dean peaks over the edge of his hammock. “Cass?”

The angel might be physically present, lying on the sand, propped up only on his elbows and looking out over the oasis, but mentally he’s a goner.

Dean hops out of the hammock and crawls over to Cass who barely pays him any heed.

“Something on your mind?” he asks.

Cass looks at him then, holing his gaze for just a second before looking away. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?” Dean asks. He’s being nosy and he knows it but it isn’t like Cass to just space out.

“It’s nice here.” Cass finally says. “The water, the trees, the animals. I never knew spending time in nature could feel so fruitful”

Dean nods along but remains quiet, sensing that more is to come.

“But what am I going to do when you go?” His voice is shaky. “Don’t mistake this for me asking you to stay Dean, but… what am I going to do here, alone? With only memories of my worst actions haunting me? I could achieve the same outcome in the Empty.”

“At the end of this week.” Dean says softly. “When you tell me everything that you need to… I’ll decide whether I need to stay. Just so you know, if I hadn’t promised Sam that I would only stay if absolutely necessary, I would never leave. Even if I do leave. I promise you won’t ever be alone long.”

Dean knows that his words won’t offer much comfort but it’s the very least he can do. Cass’ eyes are filled with sorrow but Dean can now detect the slightest ray of hope.

“Do you want to go skinny dipping?” Dean says suddenly, wanting to wipe that look off of Cass’ face.

It works.

His despair is replaced with shock and a bit of red around his cheeks and neck.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen the goods.” He says glancing down and wiggling his eyebrows. “The whole naked with bees on my car incident ring a bell? Those little swarming bugs didn’t hide much, let me tell you that.”

It had been… a jarring experience to say the least. Cass had been pretty much forbidden fruit up till that point.

“Why would we strip naked and dance in a lake?” Cass wonders, seeming perplexed by the entire idea.

“It’s like the shoe thing.” Dean says. “That was fun.”

Cass presses his lips together. “You first then.”

“Okay.” Dean says immediately, rising to the challenge.

First goes his pants then his shirt which was already halfway off. Cass eyes him intently, as though waiting for him to chicken out. When he stands in only his boxers, Cass raises a brow.

“Is that all?”

He scoffs, takes off his boxers, tossing them away. He places his hands on his hips and smiles cheekily.

“You’re up Cass.”

The trusty trench-coat falls to the ground first. Next, he slowly unbuckles his belt and Dean wishes he’d just hurry it up. Being the only one standing with his junk out is making him fidgety.

When Cass _finally_ drops the last item of his clothing to the ground – a pair of white choir-boy boxers to boot – Dean breathes a sigh of relief.

Dean lets himself have a moment to take a look at Cass. He nods in approval which just causes Cass to roll his eyes.

“Hey, you can swim right?” Dean asks.

It’s just something he’s always taken for granted. That Cass knows how to do normal human things. But he didn’t have a childhood, so more than likely, he doesn’t know how to swim.

Bingo.

The look in Cass’ eyes tells him that he’s spot on.

Dean feels happier than he should about that revelation.

This is it. His chance to teach Cass something new – something human.

…

It takes some doing… and some seriously inappropriate contact from both of them, but Dean has made the angel water ready. He’s not ready to do laps. But he can move in a line and float. Dean counts that as a win. Especially for a first try.

Floating seems to be what he likes best, mostly because he keeps him closer to the shore. Or maybe because he likes staring up at the sky.

Dean makes his way over, careful not to disturb the water. If Cass knew how to swim, a little dunking would be hilarious. But now, he doesn’t want to do anything to make Cass dislike swimming.

The thing about floating that he doesn’t like though, it gets him up personal with miniCass.

He clears his throat, making Cass’ eyes dart to him.

“Thinking again are we?”

“Maybe.” He says unobtrusively. “You’re a special human Dean.”

“And you’re a special angel.” He returns. “The only one I like anyway.”

Cass smiles. “I was thinking… maybe we should head back to the apple tree.”

Dean pulls back. “Why would we do that? The snake is there?”

“Well, yes.” Cass agrees. “The snake is there. But Jack says that it revealed things about himself that he never knew.” Something about his tone is wistful. As though it would make his millennia to have some ‘deeper truth’ about himself revealed.

“That’s a bunch of baloney. I can reveal things about you that you never knew.” Dean says in protest.

He can’t have Cass traipsing off on some joy-trip into apple land. Who know what will happen to them then. He could be _eaten_. Or worse: cast out.

He’d be easy pickings for the Shadow then.

“Name one.” Cass challenges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... they went skinny dipping. Dean gave the goods a nod of approval *not subtle Mr Winchester*


	7.  Queen of Lost Shoes Or, As We All Know Him: Sam

“Name one.” Cass challenges sticking his nose up.

“You have … no sense of fashion!” Dean blurts. “You think that trench-coat looks good on you but it really doesn’t – well I always liked it but that isn’t important. I mean yeah, it’s eerie seeing you without it but it’s not been doing you any favours with the ladies Cass.”

“I know that Dean.” he deadpans. “I know it isn’t ‘peak fashion’ and I know that _you_ like it.”

“Then how about your coffee? It’s some of the best I’ve ever had man, that’s why I like forcing you to make it.”

“You think I didn’t know that, Dean?”

“You’re _good_ Cass.”

His face twists at that. “How can _you_ of all people say that to me Dean? After all I’ve done to you?”

“You made some mistakes man. We forgave each other.”

“I’ve never understood that about you.” Cass says. “How you forgive me of the things you would kill others for? Was it really what Michael said? Because I was the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition… that you feel duty bound to help me?”

“No. Cass, it isn’t that.” Dean says firmly.

“Then what is it? Because I don’t understand!” Cass’ voice turns frantic. “The way I betrayed you… the way I hurt Sam. You continued to trust me and I continued to betray you. With the Mark we all went behind your back and you were mad at Sam but not with me.”

“Sam was the ringleader.” Dean protests. “He was the one who started your secret ‘save Dean parade.’ And when I lashed out at him, I still had the Mark. When I saw you next… I was free.”

“With Kelly then?”

“Yeah. I was pissed. But you did what you thought was right. Things with Jack worked out.”

“I think I need this Dean.” Cass interrupts, just as Dean was about to provide another epiphany. His eyes beg with Dean to understand.

Dean blows out a breath. “Okay. I don’t understand. I don’t agree. But okay.”

…

They end up putting some clothes on to make the trek back. If only to preserve some dignity. Even Dean has to admit, it’s strange walking around naked.

“I wonder what it will show me.” Cass muses.

Dean sends out a silent prayer, hoping that Jack will find a way to send him guidance. ‘ _Jack, I think Cass is about to do something stupid. He wants to talk to the snake. He wants it to show him his true self, like it did for you I guess. Send me a sign.’_

Dean keeps his eyes peeled for anything that Jack might send their way. But as they draw closer and closer to the apple tree, Dean begins feeling antsey for the first time since he got here.

“Sam.” Cass voice is full of surprise.

Sure enough, right in the middle of the path is his little brother. Or a pretty good illusion of him anyway.

“That really you, Sam?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“Prove it.” Dean demands.

“I’m the sign you asked Jack for.” Sam says, glancing around uneasily. When his eyes fall to them once more, he pulls back in surprise. “Did you lose your shoes?”

The bark of laughter that comes from Dean scatters the birds in the area. “We leave that to the Queen of Lost Shoes.”

Sam presses his lips together in annoyance.

“Cass. Can I talk to you a sec?”

Dean frowns. He doesn’t like being cut out of the loop. But he doesn’t want to interfere with whatever reasoning Jack had given. Maybe it could actually stop Cass from doing something stupid.

That doesn’t stop his eyes from wanting to stray as Sam pulls Cass aside and speaks to him in hushed tones. It’s a pretty animated conversation, and Dean is pretty sure that it’s not all life advice from Jack.

When they come back, Cass looks… chastised, as strange as that may sound. Sam, he just seems uncomfortable in general.

“Okay kids, what went on in those bushes?”

They both turn to him with faux innocent expressions. Too bad, neither Sam nor Cass are any good at hiding when they’re up to something. Sam looks like he’s about to vomit and Cass looks on the verge of sever constipation.

Dean remembers Jack saying that he’d tell Sam all about whatever reason he should stay behind while he was gone? Had it been about that? Dean is dying to know more than ever.

“Sam says that Jack gave the okay for the snake.”

“But that he should prepare himself for the shock that comes after.” Sam tacks on.

Dean winces. “Well that sounds like a fulfilling experience.” He says sarcastically.

“It can be.”

Yeah, right.

In any case, Dean will be the one wiping the drool from his mouth with a – a leaf – of all the things, when all is said and done.

“You staying long Sammy?” Dean asks, almost hopefully.

Sam shakes his head in disappointment. “We’re getting close to something back home.”

Dean nods. He isn’t sure if he considers that a good thing or not. On one hand, it means Cass is closer to being out of danger. But on the other hand, it means going back. To the real world. Not a paradise place where they can just hang out and do whatever and no one would care – because no one would be any wiser.

Sam pulls him in for a hug. “Bye Dean.” He says. “See you soon. Or later. Whatever you need.”

With that, Sam disappears.

He can’t tell how long he’s been away, it’s hard to tell time with no clear day or night.

Cass lays a hand on his shoulder, sensing his disappointment and loss.

It’s just temporary, he reminds himself.

Then he glances at Cass.

It’s just temporary, he reminds himself… or is it?


	8. Mitigating The Effects of Cass’ Mid Life Crisis

Cass casts him an uneasy glances as he tiptoes to the apple tree.

Hiss!

Dean jumps but wills himself to remain in place. The snake is huge and a mustard colour, it’s torso wraps around the nearest branch and disappears into the leaves, extending for who knows how long.

He sees Cass’ arms clench at his side.

Screw ‘finding yourself.’

His hand shoots out, with the intention of grabbing Cass – kicking and screaming if he has to – and getting the hell out of Dodge.

Something stops him though. A voice inside his head that he’s pretty sure isn’t his conscience.

‘ _Stand back child. Only one can take the journey at a time._ ’

Cass looks back at him, his expression is the ‘it’s okay Dean.’

That should give him some comfort, but he’d seen that expression used too many times just before Cass did something to hurt himself.

Dean tries to move but it’s as though he’s spell bound by the snake’s command. He yanks at his leg but it refuses to budge.

The mammoth creature is getting closer and closer to Cass. Despite Jack’s assurances, he still feels as though something is awry.

That think won’t want to risk angering Jack… not if it knows what he did to his first snake, Dean thinks, trying to comfort himself.

Like lightening, the beast strikes, his head, bumping into Cass’ lightly. Nevertheless, it sends him sprawling to the floor his eyes clenched tightly and his body curling in on itself to create a protective shield.

“Cass!” Dean calls out, stumbling forward into the dirt as the snake recedes, relinquishing its hold on him.

Covering the distance between then quickly, Dean places himself at Cass’ side, his hands grabbing for his face and shaking, hoping to snap him out of whatever trance he’s in. His eyes are still shut, his body trembling. “Cass.” He says, more gently this time. “Come on man.”

But it’s like Cass can’t hear him. It looks like he’s dying slowly and there’s nothing Dean can do but stand and watch for what feels like an eternity. It’s torture in its basest form. As he watches Cass, he finds himself sinking deeper and deeper into his own worries and soon enough his hands are shaking just as badly as Cass’, his eyes on the verge of watering and his lungs deprived of oxygen from the shaky breaths he takes.

“Dean.” His name is like a cool blast of air on an arid day.

He barely snaps out of it in time for form a coherent reply. But coherence isn’t what Cass needs now. He crashes into Dean engulfing him in an all-encompassing hug that sends them both crashing into the earth.

“Are you okay?” Dean finally croaks.

He feels Cass nod against his neck.

“What – what did he show you?” Dean wonders.

Cass doesn’t seem ready to pull away yet, so he just turns them both on their side, maintaining their hugging position. His blue eyes still seem unfocused; as though still lost in whatever the snake had shown him.

“He showed me my life.” Cass says wistfully. “At the start… the angel that I was. The adjustments that were made to me when I rebelled. That’s one thing that never changed. They asked me to commit atrocities, I would do their bidding for a time then rebel and then they would ‘re-set’ me. Then something changed. I rebelled, I did their bidding, they re-set me, I rebelled, they re-set me… and it didn’t stick. I couldn’t do what they had conditioned me to do with over a thousand simulations. I couldn’t kill you, Dean.”

He remembers. For a while Cass really had him going. He thought that was the end of him. He hadn’t expected it to be Cass and he hadn’t expected himself to not put up a fight.

“Did you get what you wanted from it then?” He’s sure that that wasn’t all that it showed him, but Dean doesn’t want to pry more than he has, especially after such a traumatic experience.

“I… I did.” Cass breathes, his breath fanning out over Dean’s face. From this angle, the emotion in his eyes is hard to miss. “I got everything I hoped for and more.”

“I – I’m happy for you.” Dean says sincerely. Cass had given him the fright of his life, but it’s worth it, to see Cass look this happy and fulfilled.

“Do you want to hear one of them?” Cass asks suddenly, almost eagerly.

Dean nods a bit uncertainly. “Only if you want to tell me.”

“It’s something that I’ve known for a while. I’ve just been terrified of saying it. So have you, if we’re both being honest.”

Dean stiffens, the earth suddenly digging into his back and making him that much more uncomfortable.

“Dean.” Cass says, his voice suddenly serious. “I want you to stay with me… and you want to stay with me too.”

Shame floods him then, causing him to look away, which is hard to do with Cass directly on top of him.

“Of course I _want_ to stay Cass.” He says in exasperation. “It’s perfect here. Anyone would want to stay.”

Given the look on Cass’ face he doesn’t buy that reasoning any more than Dean does.

“Well…” he relents. “That’s part of it. But the main part if you. We’re free here to frolic in the open pastures and skinny dip at our leisure.”

Cass smiles at that memory. “I like floating very much.”

“I know you do buddy.” Dean says with a grin. “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t leave you. And – and I’m talkin’ about here or – or even back home.”

“Then why can’t you stay?”

“Because…” Dean doesn’t want to say it. It sounds like such an _excuse_ when he does. “I promised Sam that I would only stay if I absolutely had to.”

_See you soon. Or later. Whatever you need._

Those were Sam’s parting words. Jack must have told him about whatever ‘reasoning’ and Sam had decided to give his stamp of approval. But that’s just an assumption. Maybe Dean’s only reading what he wants into it.

“I – Cass I think it’s time that you explained everything to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last two chapters!!!


	9. End of a Chapter, The Perfect Disaster and a Happily Ever After

“So Cass.” He says, figuring that they’ve played around long enough. “Tell me why Jack thinks I should stay.”

Sam knows. Jack knows. By the way people act, the entire world knows; except for Dean of course. Only a Winchester would manage to _not_ know some crucial fact about his best friend.

“I told you Dean.” Cass says, in the most unhelpful way.

“You told me in tongues.” He returns. “Can you try it again in English?”

At his side, Cass bristles, becoming noticeably stiffer on top of him. “My deal is when I’m happy he will take me.”

Dean nods along, trying to stop himself from saying that this is all old news. Cass seems intent on making him sit through the same old song and dance again. And honestly, it hurts him to hear it. What Cass had been willing to sacrifice.

“Dean…” He begins. “The things that can make me happy. They are numbered. When the Shadow peered inside my mind, it saw _everything._ My feelings of inadequacy and uselessness, my greatest fears, my enemies… the people I love. It was jarring. To know that a single being could hold so much over me. Then, after when I made the deal to save Jack. I did it because I knew how good he could be for the world. And, above all else…he’d become a son to me Dean. I couldn’t leave him in that realm.”

Dean swallows. He can understand that. “I’m not saying you made the wrong call Cass.” He says gently. “Well, you did make the wrong call. But you did what anyone of us would have done. The right, but stupid thing. That’s not my problem. Why didn’t you tell us. Sam and I, we do care about you.”

“I know.” Cass says. “I just didn’t want to bother you with that information. What could you have done anyway?”

“We would have tried.” He says indignantly.

“And what would that have done?”

“Something.” Dean insists, feeling the familiar rage taking hold. “We would have done anything Cass. Even if it meant going face to face with that monster!”

“There it is.” Cass says softly. “What good would that have done? The thing that could make me happy… facing off against the being who wishes to take it all away?”

That gives Dean pause. “Me and Sam… we make you happy.”

“Yes.” Cass says carefully. “Being with you and Sam brings me great joy.”

But Jack had asked only Dean to go.

Cass always sticks to his side more than Sam’s in any case.

“Dean.” Cass says sternly, catching his attention. “Once I thought that you knew. You are a connoisseur in matters such as this. It was Sam, who convinced me that you didn’t know and then Jack who told me that you were incapable of understanding in your circumstances. He was right.”

Clearly, Cass thinks he’s giving an award worthy presentation, but Dean is incapable of doing anything other than blinking at him owlishly.

“Things are different now.” Cass says, persisting. “Now, we are all alone, in a place that is all our own. I think you’re ready to hear this.”

Dean’s been ready for the past hour, but okay.

“You make me unbelievably happy Dean.” Cass states, shuffling from foot to foot in the dirt. His hands are balled in the pockets of his trench-coat, but his eyes, as always hold his own firmly. “That’s because I love you. Or it could be because I love you that you make me happy. Both are related – neither can exist without the other.”

Had this been one of the realisations that the snake had shown Cass? Had this been something that he knew about for all these years but had kept quiet about?

“How long?” Dean croaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww this is almost over T-T
> 
> I loved writing this so much! I hope you guys enjoyed it too!!


	10. A World That’s All Our Own

“How long?” Dean croaks. How long had he suffered in silence?

Suddenly their position is too much, too confining, too compromising. Dean pushes himself away from Cass, putting a few paces between them. Jack was right. Hearing this would have broken him. Even now, in paradise, Dean is still struggling to pull it together.

“Does it matter?” Cass returns, still staring at Dean. He’s on his feet now and Dean just hopes he doesn’t come closer.

He’s terrified of whatever expression he must be making right now. He hopes it’s shock, but there’s a great chance it could be horror.

Cass’ own expression doesn’t give anything away. He just looks at Dean like he usually does: intently, constantly and with a gaze brimming with affection.

Dean finds that his eyes can’t focus on anything. Everything feels blurry, off kilter. Because… of course it matters.

If Dean had known… he would have _done_ something. Maybe not something romantic, because Jack was right, he wasn’t ready to deal with that then. Maybe he would have been more conscious of his hook-ups and some of the comments he’d made that may have caused some hurt.

Something crashes into his skull, making stars dance across his vision. Cass’ forehead presses firmly against his; it’s the source of his pain. Dean tries to push him off, but Cass remains firm in his stance.

“I can see you thinking Dean.” He murmurs, taking a step back and thus forcing Dean to move back as well.

Now he’s trapped between a Cass and a hard tree.

“Cass.” He complains.

“You aren’t obligated to feel the same Dean.” He says, his voice holding no judgement or disappointment.

Dean sighs. “I know.”

Guilt eats chews him up and spits him out. “Cass, I think I should stay.” He blurts.

“No Dean, you don’t. _You_ want to stay, but you _need_ to go.” Cass’ voice is like lead. “It’s best if you go back to earth. With Sam and Jack. They’ll need you.”

“And you?” Dean questions. “Would you need me?”

Cass looks away. “I’ll be okay.” He says in his baritone voice.

“C’mon Cass.” Dean presses on, “You can tell me what you really want to say.”

Indecision flashes across his face, his hands wringing themselves together as he tries to find the answer to Dean’s question. “I just – I confessed my love to you just a few moments ago Dean.” Cass hisses. “And, not that I begrudge you, but you clearly don’t feel the same way. I don’t want you to stay because you feel obligated.”

“That’s not why I want to stay.” Dean rushes. Cass is probably in a pretty vulnerable spot now that everything is out in the open and especially given that Dean hadn’t returned the sentiment. It’s not like he wouldn’t say the words, just to stop Cass from looking like his world was imploded, but those particular words seem locked away in his throat.

“I want to stay…” Dean begins. “Because – this reminds me of Purgatory!” he finds himself saying. “And I’m not about to leave you again. I wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep without knowing you’re safe.”

“This is the safest place.” Cass reminds him.

“I know. I know. Still. Knowing that you’re here alone. I know Sam is safe with Jack and I can just tell him to snatch us outta here if anything goes sideways.”

“And what plans do you have for us in the interim?”

“We … hang out.” Dean says, “Dean and Cass time, like I said. Skinny dipping and frolicking. For once in our lives we can be selfish. Sam – he’ll understand. He knows that you need me too sometimes.”

Cass cocks his head then, staring back at Dean as though that idea is absurd. “ The world need you Dean. It was stupid of me to ask you to stay, to tempt you like I did. It’s like I said: the world needs every Winchester it can get. I won’t deny them you, Dean.”

Cass went from telling him that he knows that they both want him to stay to wanting him to haul ass back to the bunker. Suddenly the sides have switched and Dean is the one fighting to stay when Cass wants him to go. Dean peers over at Cass’ face and he sees the patters his worry lines make. No, he realises, Cass doesn’t really want him to go. He just wants to be alone to mope because he made a friggin’ love confession and Dean had been too dunderheaded to say it back.

“What about my world, Cass?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you Dean!” Cass insists, taking a step back to create some distance between them.

“There’s a colon between ‘my world’ and ‘Cass.’” Dean announces, his nerves causing his voice to become higher. “Just so you know.”

“Dean.” Cass’ eyes fill with wonder.

“I know.” He murmurs, curling his fingers around the nape of Cass’ neck. “It’s not a declaration of love. I don’t think I’m ready for that – yet. But you’re it for me Cass. I’ve known it for a while.”

For some reason, Dean expected that confession to hurt more than it did. Instead, he only feels relief. That relief is only amplified by what Cass does next.

“I’m your Huckleberry.” Cass says with a small smile.

“That you are.” Dean agrees.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.” Dean finds himself admitting when silence falls between them. A real, healthy relationship is new territory for him.

“And you think that I do?” Cass retorts. “But we’re alone here. There’s nothing stopping us.”

"Okay." Dean agrees. "I guess this is sort of our training wheels."

“And when we go back?” He can see the unease in Cass' eyes, the fear that what they have is relegated to this world alone.

That’s a loaded one. “Cass.” Dean says seriously. “I would _never_ do that to you. If you asked me, back in the bunker, to head out with you and start a life – something normal – I’d be packed in an instant. I told you earlier that I’d stay – here or back home. And I meant it.”

It’s a truth he isn’t comfortable admitting, but it’s something that Cass needed to hear.

A peaceful expression graces Cass’ face. He can tell that Dean is sincere. His hopeful smile brings about Dean’s own. He’s about to suggest they go back to the lake or try climbing the trees when Cass’ face chances. He cocks his head at Dean quizzically.

“You were going to ask me something too Dean.” Cass says, his expression hopeful and vulnerable. “Before we went fishing.”

Dean feels a flush coming on. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.” A dalliance that he shouldn’t have had in the first place and something he completely forgot about over the past few days. However, Cass is like an elephant about these things. Ever since their evening fishing, Dean’s unfinished question must have plagued his mind. Truth be told, Dean didn’t change the topic with much tact so he has no one to blame but himself.

Given all that they’ve admitted in the space of a few minutes, Dean finds himself quailing at the thought of this. This is personal. Private. Yet, it's something he’s yearned for.

“There’s no one here but us.” Cass reminds, the love in his voice is clear.

They’re on a roll when it comes to confessions, so why the hell not? The worst Cass can do is say no.

“I was going to ask…” Dean takes a deep breath, emboldened. “Will you dance with me?”

Cass laughs in his face before cupping his cheeks and saying. “Of course, Dean. Yes.”

His hands find their way around Cass’ neck, Cass’ around his hips, drawing him closer. Dean feels the earth shift beneath his feet. It’s something he never allowed himself to feel around Cass before:

Still.

At peace.

At home.

The relief almost sends Dean to his knees, but Cass helps him stay upright, his hands tightening around him.

“I got you, Dean.”

The music is nothing like Dean had ever imagined. A symphony of dragonflies and frogs and birds, all joining them in celebrating their new life.

In paradise.

In a world that could be all their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> Wow! This story has gone though it all... first it was a one shot of just a few hundred words. Then it was a story with about 5 planned chapters then it doubled in size. Writing this was a blast! I just love the idea of them escaping using the occultum.
> 
> Things have been said. Dances have been danced. They're in a world that's all their own :D
> 
> Thanks to the readers who came with me on this journey <3\. I hope you liked how this wrapped up. Reading your comments and ideas truly special.
> 
> Endings are hard... but nothing ever really ends.
> 
> xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Remember guys, this one updates every week (on Friday)


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